how i adore with my mouth shut.

12:30 AM

i always love to look at your back, you shoulder blades seem sharp enough to cut me into pieces.

but yes, you already cut me down

gazing you from behind is a bliss, imagining my fingers could reach the backside of your neck try to draw a vertical line down to your hip.

you look back at me, give me a silent smile, seem to hide some pretty dark secrets behind the shape of your cherry red lips.

and your eyes, they were tired eyes, and small. but they asked mine to look at yours. so brown, so warm.

i can hear that your husky voice says my name. not just a name. it's a nick name.

you said that you need to leave. didn't want you to leave me. but i didn't hold you back. and so there are somethings are left unsaid.

and yes.. somethings are better left unsaid.

left live love

2:01 AM

I don't know what's left to live.
I don't know what's left to love.
But I do believe,
that i just wanted to be needed
than to be loved.


1:47 AM

Sukacita yang telah terlupa
suatu saat kan teringat
seperti yang telah ku janjikan
akan kuberikan mu suka (dan duka mu kan hilang)

diriku mengubah dirimu membuka
hatiku memeluk hatimu merekah

kebebasan yang terbelenggu
terkikis bersama waktu
jawaban yang telah kucari
tak akan lagi berwujud mimpi (dan kan menjadi nyata)

diriku mengubah dirimu membuka
hatiku memeluk hatimu merekah

menarilah kau yang hilang asa
karena pedihmu akan sirna
kan tergantikan dengan yang indah
seindah warna di kala senja

dan hapus semua ragumu
yang tersimpan didalam hatimu
dan nyanyikan isi hatimu
agar rasa tenang jiwamu.


1:44 AM

i made this song in a really short time, to express my feelings that i had experienced that time. this song is about disappointments, but not for long. is just another phase of life.  it's been a while since my last post on my soundcloud. it's been hard time for me to write a song, or to draw artworks. this song is some kind of a conclusion after a conversation, and i feel a little bit relieved that i could write a simple song. hope you guys enjoy it.


I cannot see what's in front of me
cause you were there
and i guess you're prettier than 
what lies behind you

then i feel so wrong
cause when you're not there
i've seen too much junction 
that i don't understand

i really wish there is another you
that i could capture the moment
and then i will keep it forever
cause you were such a beautiful illusion
that it's hard to let go. 

and i realized it was all in my mind it was all in my mind
but i really don't want to erase them all but i just want to clear out my mind

the same smile the same dress

9:03 AM

me walking around looking for a drink
to the escalator faster than i think
and i see you again with that smile
and i see you again with that dress

feels like the universe was trying to test to me
how am i ready to choose which way i want to be
but all i remember is that smile, that wonderful smile
and all i remmber is your hair. your wonderful hair. 

kembali jadi manusia

11:07 PM

tak perlu lagi
saling kita
untuk menukar luka

yang tersimpan
di dalam
hatimu yang terlunta

kukan menunggu
dalam harap
kabarmu yang kan kurindu

semoga waktu
kan mengubah kita
kembali jadi manusia

yang tidak lagi buruk rupa.